On babies and motherhood (and Pregnancy update for 31 weeks)

My ever expanding belly (and yes, my maternity shirts are almost too short already, and I still have 2 more months, what's a girl to do? I might be moving on to MooMoos)

I read a blog post today(Life of Bon...Great blog by the way).... It was about motherhood, and "how could you possibly know you were ready to have a kid?" This post was opened up for comments and advice at the end. It made me think....A LOT. As I wrote about motherhood, and how it was for the first time for me, I started to think about how blessed I was to be a mother.

Let's be honest.....

I have been feeling terrified lately at the prospect of having 2 children. Last night I said a prayer that I could feel at peace, come what may in the next few months.

This blog, as odd as it sounds, was the answer to my prayers. It gave me the opportunity to think about motherhood. It was really the ability to sit down and write about motherhood, and what it meant, that made all the difference this morning, and it made my heart so full of gratitude for the children that I am blessed with.

Well I am just going to paste my comment that I made. It expresses so much of what I feel about motherhood, and I actually am feeling more excited to meet this new little guy than I ever could have imagined.

I had my first when I was 26, which in mormonville, as you stated, is ancient ;) I know it has been said that you can never fully prepare yourself. You will never be ready to be completely selfless, but that is what motherhood teaches you. It teaches you to turn your focus from yourself to something much more wonderful than yourself (not that you aren't wonderful!)It is the HARDEST, BEST thing you will ever do. You will be taught to be Christ like. You will learn to love in a way you never could have imagined. Is a poopy diaper fun? No way! Is a baby crying at you fun? Absolutely not. But.....and there is a huge and resounding BUT in this instance, the reward of a child learning to kiss you on the lips and then doing it over and over again, just because they love you, or the sigh of a sleeping newborn on your chest, or knowing that you are this tiny little being's world, and you really are their favorite person, regardless of any and all imperfections you have, or a million other little things I could state, somehow makes it all worth it. It may rock your world, especially the first few months, but when you put it all in retrospect...you would never go back to before you had a child. Despite any and all difficulties, you don't want to give them back....because you love them with all your heart. This, the whole loving a new "stranger" with all your heart, comes with the territory and is a wonderful, wonderful blessing. There is just something about serving someone 24/7 that makes you love them more than you ever could know,and it makes them love you too. This child will be yours and your hubby's, and there is nothing more beautiful than that! ....

I have a testimony of what a magnificent calling motherhood is. I could write a whole essay about it, but that would just get long winded. I wouldn't trade it though, despite it being difficult and terrifying sometimes.)

On to the preggers update:

I am 31 weeks pregnant. Crazy. I had to look it up. I had lost count a couple weeks back. This last stretch just blends into itself.

I am always starving....then I am only able to fit 5 bites of anything in my stomach before I feel full.

This little guy moves around constantly.

I am always tried.

My hips ache.

But I have to admit, I feel pretty good in comparison to my previous pregnancy. I am much more active this time around (some by choice, some by force, considering the 1 year old running circles around me and my whole house)

I crave chocolate, pizza, gummi bears, and any form of beef. I could even eat them all in the same meal, and I would be one happy camper! Disgusting, I know! And yet, even writing about it is making my mouth water. That is how gross I am. I know it is gross, but it isn't enough to stop me from wanting all of them on the same table.

My sleep is hit or miss at best. Mostly, because I pee about 7 times a night and I get charlie horses in my bottom 2 to 3 times a night. But the best part about being up that many times... I know it seems weird that there could be a good part, but there is one. The best part is just feeling this little guy move around all over the place. It means he is doing great.

I haven't started getting any stretch marks yet, but I am sure they will come some time. My belly button is still in. Gotta love that.

All of maternity shirts are getting a bit short. Hopefully a few of them will last until I have him.

I also have been nesting like crazy, but not in the same way as last time. The nursery is already put together, Shiloh is in it. I seem to focus all of this attention on Shiloh, and things we need to do for him before the baby comes. I have also been looking up double strollers (if you have suggestions for this one, within a reasonable price range, please share.) and organizing baby clothes.

Not much time left in the grand scheme of things, but I am sure we will get everything done before he gets here!